Celebrating Success

This weeks weigh-in: -3.2 lbs
Total lost:  56.8 lbs

And I called it.  It's funny how closely I now monitor the way my body works and responds to things.  Nonetheless, a great loss this week, and even if I subtract the past two weeks gains, still down 1.2 lbs more than I was three weeks ago.

So this was the last week of Weight Watchers 2010 Momentum Challenge.  Basically for 10 weeks we focused each week on a different factor that contributes to our success with the program.  Being that this was the last week, our topic was celebrating successes.  Carol, my leader, asked us if we celebrated our success, or if we just focused on all of the failures.  This really brought me back to a year ago when I was still at the beginning of this whole journey.  I planned tons of rewards - one for practically every five pounds I lost.  Now, almost 60 pounds later, I've realized that I've only given myself two of those - a haircut/color after my first 20 lbs, and a ring when I hit below 200 pounds.  I also had other less materialistic ideas, none of which were ever rewarded.

It seems that now, losing each week has become an expectation, instead of a success.  If I lose, I'm happy, but I look at it as what was expected.  If I don't lose, or gain, I get frustrated with myself and beat myself up mentally, going over and over what I've done wrong.

I need to change this outlook.  Not only is it hurting my progress and frustrating me, but its completely disregarding the fact that a year ago, 183 pounds seemed light years away, and truthfully somewhat unattainable.  I ignored my weight in high school, but I'm pretty positive I weighed 183 somewhere around 9th grade.

That being said, I'm focusing this week on the things that I do well, and also I plan to come up with a new rewards list for my short term mini goals.  I'll be checking back in with an update on those things!