Fresh Start

So it's been awhile, obviously.  I fell off of the Weight Watchers train for a solid month.

Or more like, the train derailed, crashed into six buildings, and exploded into fiery disaster.

But, I'm here, and life goes on.  I have gained a few pounds, but nothing that I can't handle.  I've really been analyzing my mindset over the past week, because not once since I started this journey in January 2009 have I "not cared" as much as I did for the past month.  I ate out, whatever I wanted.  I ate random fast food on different occasions, stuff I didn't even really like.  I've hardly cooked.

So what happened?  I don't know if I can attribute it to stress or burnout or just giving up?

I'm moving in two weeks, and feel like I have to go out all the time and spend as much time with friends here as possible.  But why does that have to ALWAYS involve food?  It doesn't.  I just somehow convince myself that it does.

But, after a week or two of feeling like total crap, I'm re-energized.  I've also decided to take a bit of a different approach to my workouts and try P90x.  I want to do P90x as well as keep up biking/running/swimming as much as possible, but doing those more for fun than as a "workout".

I'll be living in Colorado this summer, which naturally makes me want to spend as much time outdoors as possible.  I know I'll be getting lots of exercise just in daily routine.

I'm tired of feeling so horrible when I don't take care of myself.  So, here we go... new mindset, fresh start, and besides: I pretty much ate every food that I have limited over the past year + in just the past month... so I shouldn't have any horrible cravings for awhile, right?  :-)

Celebrating Success

This weeks weigh-in: -3.2 lbs
Total lost:  56.8 lbs

And I called it.  It's funny how closely I now monitor the way my body works and responds to things.  Nonetheless, a great loss this week, and even if I subtract the past two weeks gains, still down 1.2 lbs more than I was three weeks ago.

So this was the last week of Weight Watchers 2010 Momentum Challenge.  Basically for 10 weeks we focused each week on a different factor that contributes to our success with the program.  Being that this was the last week, our topic was celebrating successes.  Carol, my leader, asked us if we celebrated our success, or if we just focused on all of the failures.  This really brought me back to a year ago when I was still at the beginning of this whole journey.  I planned tons of rewards - one for practically every five pounds I lost.  Now, almost 60 pounds later, I've realized that I've only given myself two of those - a haircut/color after my first 20 lbs, and a ring when I hit below 200 pounds.  I also had other less materialistic ideas, none of which were ever rewarded.

It seems that now, losing each week has become an expectation, instead of a success.  If I lose, I'm happy, but I look at it as what was expected.  If I don't lose, or gain, I get frustrated with myself and beat myself up mentally, going over and over what I've done wrong.

I need to change this outlook.  Not only is it hurting my progress and frustrating me, but its completely disregarding the fact that a year ago, 183 pounds seemed light years away, and truthfully somewhat unattainable.  I ignored my weight in high school, but I'm pretty positive I weighed 183 somewhere around 9th grade.

That being said, I'm focusing this week on the things that I do well, and also I plan to come up with a new rewards list for my short term mini goals.  I'll be checking back in with an update on those things!

Pizza Chicken Roll-Ups

Adapted from Taste of Home

4 boneless skinless chicken breast fillets, approx 4 oz each
2 cups of Ragu Light No Sugar Added Tomato and Basil sauce
4 slices mozzarella cheese, approx 1 oz each
20 turkey pepperoni slices
toothpicks

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Place 4 turkey pepperoni and one slice of mozzarella cheese on top of each chicken breast fillet.  Roll chicken up and secure with two toothpicks.  Place roll-ups in a glass baking dish.  Cover each roll-up with tomato sauce.  

Bake for 35-40 minutes, or until chicken is cooked through.

Things need to change.

This week's weigh-in: +.8 lbs
Total lost: 53.4 lbs

Okay, I'm frustrated.  I had a great week, and I really expected to have a loss this week.  Instead, I gained .8 lb.  I know, not MAJOR.  I understand, it happens.  Here's why I'm frustrated:

My body seems to cycle.  No matter what I do, it seems that I either maintain or slightly gain two weeks in a row, and then the third week, I have a decent loss.  Why is this?  Someone, anyone, explain?  It's discouraging, because I never really know what's working and what isn't.  I have yet to really hit a plateau where I completely quit losing for a long period of time, so maybe this is my version of one?

In other news, I'm trying four new recipes this week, so look forward to some recipe postings soon!

Why thank you, scale.

This week's weigh in:  +.6 lbs
Total lost: 54.2 lbs


Yes, I gained today.  And yes, I'm thankful.  Why?  Lots of reasons.  First off, I'm thankful that after the ridiculous amount of unhealthy food I've consumed in the past week, I've only gained .6 of a pound.  I'm also thankful that I DID have a gain, because there's no motivation in rewarding negative behavior.

I've spent the past hour looking at progress pictures of many people I've met on the Weight Watchers message boards, as well as other random people who have posted their amazing progress in various places online.  Other than possibly my own success, there is absolutely nothing more motivating to me than seeing the success of others.

Today at my meeting, my leader Carol pulled me aside after I weighed in.  She handed me a form for Weight Watchers "Role Model of the Year" contest, and told me that she would like to nominate me.  I can't explain just how good this made me feel.  She has been an essential part of my entire journey so far, and to know that she believes in me and my success enough to nominate me for something like this makes me so happy.  They choose 6 grand prize winners for the contest that get to go to New York City, get a makeover, clothes, etc, and then are featured in an issue of Weight Watchers magazine!  That would be pretty awesome, so let's all hope I win!

When things get frustrating and difficult, all of these things are a reminder of why its worth it to put the effort in every day to make myself healthier.

We all need a week off sometimes, right?

Okay, confession time.  From last Wednesday until today, I did not follow Weight Watchers one single bit. I ate anything and everything that I wanted, didn't track a single thing that I ate, and probably ate way more than I normally ever would, just because I felt like the week had already gone down the drain.  (Part of this was due to the mini vacation to San Luis Obispo, which is what the picture in the previous post is from)  Either way, no excuses.

Note to self (and readers):  Don't do this.

Today, I picked myself up, slapped myself across the face, and told myself to get with it.  I went grocery shopping and I've tracked all day.

Tomorrow's weigh-in will NOT be pretty.  I can promise you that.  But, I'm going.  I really want to lose 10 more pounds by May, so I need to get my butt in gear.  That's my current mini-goal, 175 by May 1st.

Have you had to pick yourself up and keep going lately?  What are your current mini goals?

A weekend on the coast.

Take that, weekend temptations!

Last Friday, after I weighed in and realized that I needed to kick my butt into a little higher gear, I made myself a promise.  I was not going to go out to a bar all week.  This might not seem like a difficult thing, but I go out pretty often - not always drinking, but just to hang out with friends after work or for trivia that the local pub hosts.  Though I'm not always drinking, it usually leads to eating, and then I end up using all of my weekly points on Friday/Saturday night for stupid mindless food that I don't even care about.

This week, I conquered.  I invited friends over on Saturday night, ate dinner before they showed up, and had some wine.  I saved money.  And, I completed this week with 9 weeklies and all of my activity points left over!!  In response, the scale rewarded me, after barely chugging along the last three weeks.

This week's weigh-in:  -2.8 lbs

Total lost: - 54.8 lbs

I need to do this more often.  Less eating out, less night time eating.  I KNOW it will help.

Inner Reality Check

Today I woke up feeling skinny.  Sometimes I can push my confidence to this level for a short time, but it never lasts very long.  Five minutes into staring at myself in the mirror, I notice my flabby arms, or the loose skin, or the fact that my stomach still just refuses to go away.  Getting ready for work, I put on my size 12 jeans, and still can't quite grasp the idea that they actually fit.  Back at the mirror, I'm picking at the fat that's still pushing over my waistline.

Really, does this cycle ever end?

I've been thinking lately about how much of a mental battle weight loss is... and I truly believe it's so much more mental than physical.  No matter how many successes I have, I will always find the flaws.  I have been trying to focus on the positive, no matter what, and realize that I still have a ways to go in this whole journey. Unfortunately my mind likes to default to the feelings that are normal and easy - the negatives.

My Weight Watchers leader said something in our meeting the other day that really stuck with me:

"Sometimes there will be difficulties along the road, and you will be ready to give up.  Think of it this way - If you planned to take a trip from Florida to Washington, and got a flat tire in Oklahoma, would you move there!?"

With that, it all makes just a little bit more sense.  :-)

Crab and Corn Quesadillas

3 flour tortillas
2 oz 1/3 less fat cream cheese
4 oz white crab meat (or lump crab meat)
2/3 cup corn (canned, or already cooked)
1/4 cup roasted red peppers, diced
1 tsp caribbean jerk or cajun seasoning
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1/8 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
spray butter
olive oil cooking spray

Combine cream cheese, crab, corn and roasted red peppers in a bowl.  Add caribbean or cajun seasoning, black pepper, and cilantro.

Spray 10" skillet with olive oil spray and heat to medium.  Spread 1/3 of mixture onto one half of each tortilla, and fold over.  Spray each side of tortilla with spray butter and heat on each side for approx. 3 minutes.  Cut each quesadilla into two pieces.  Serve with salsa or sour cream.

Servings: 6
WW Points per serving: 2

Maybe I will really be a runner some day...

It's been awhile since I've updated... sorry!  So weeks one and two of 10k training are complete, and I feel good!  Truthfully, I am so pumped for Week 3 and ready to push myself a little bit harder.  I found a new jogging path this week and it has changed the atmosphere up a bit and made me really excited to get out and run ouside.  So, bring it on Week 3!!

Last week's weigh in:  - .6 lbs
Total lost: -51.8 lbs

This week's weigh in: -.2 lbs
Total lost:  -52 lbs

My weight loss on the scale seems to be slowing down, but I'm seeing a difference physically alot lately.  Unfortunately, my clothes shopping is seriously affected by this.  I'm spending too much money!  Plato's Closest will be my new best friend.

Recipes coming soon!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Protein Shake

I've started taking a protein supplements after my strength training workouts, but I'm constantly looking for new ways to "prepare" it, and keep it interesting.  (i.e. I cannot drink protein powder with water.  YUCK.)

Today, I was really craving something sweet, so I made a milkshake.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Protein Shake

1/4 cup Fat Free Vanilla Ice Cream
1 Sugar Free 60 Cal Jello Chocolate Pudding (the single serve already prepared cups)
1/2 Banana
1 scoop Protein Powder (mine is Pineapple Banana flavored)
1/2 tbsp Reduced Fat Peanut Butter

Combine all ingredients in blender.  Add water as necessary for consistency.

1 serving
WW Pts: 7  (High point, but very good and filling!)

Another Friday... Another Weigh-In

I really struggle with Thursday nights.  I don't know if internally, somewhere, I feel the need to self-sabatoge, but I always have to literally have angel vs. devil arguements with myself (little men on my shoulders style) to not drink and eat like crazy on Thursday nights.  Even when I have an amazing week, I always end up ruining it, at least somewhat.

Well, last night, I finally won.  (Yes, I understand that "I" win either way, considering it's an internal arguement...)  I went out, and resisted drinking lots of my points away or eating food unnecessarily at 1am.  It was really tough.  You'd think I'd have more control over this by now, right?  Let's hope I can make this a weekly occurance.

Despite the fact that I was good last night, I only had a very small loss today.  I just have to keep reminding myself that something's better than nothing.

This week's weigh-in:  - .2 lbs
Total lost:  51.2 lbs


As far as exercise, I'm beginning a 10k training program this week!  I'm hoping to run a 10K at some point in April.  Here it is:

10K Training Schedule

Week	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
1	Rest	1.5 m run	CT or Rest	1.5 m run	Rest	2 m run	25-30 min EZ
2	Rest	2 m run	CT or Rest	2 m run	Rest	2.5 m run	25-30 min EZ
3	Rest	2.5 mi run	CT or Rest	2 m run	Rest	3 m run	30-35 min EZ
4	Rest	2.5 m run	CT or Rest	2 m run	Rest	3.5 m run	35 min EZ
5	Rest	3 m run	CT or Rest	2.5 m run	Rest	4 m run	35-40 min EZ
6	Rest	3 m run	CT	2.5 m run	Rest	4.5 m run	35-40 min EZ
7	Rest	3.5 m run	CT	3 m run	Rest	5 m run	40 min EZ
8	Rest	3 m run	CT or Rest	2 m run	Rest	Rest	10K Race!

That's all for now.  I'll be posting a recipe later for the delicious protein shake I made this afternoon!

Progress... Slow but Steady!

It's been just over a year since I started Weight Watchers and working out regularly, and I have been putting together some progress pictures as motivation to keep going.

This picture is a comparison from my starting weight to about 20 lbs lost.

Fall 2008

Fall 2009

Christmas 2008

Christmas 2009

It's kind of embarrassing now to put up those pictures and realize that I really did look like that, for many years actually.  I look back and think how there were so many times when I didn't even realize how unhealthy I was.  It's really hard for me to meet people now and let them see pictures of me from just a year ago.  I don't want them to know that person, but it's also a motivation to me to see these and think about how I refuse to ever be that person again.

Roasted Red Pepper Soup

This is one of my all time favorite soups, as I can add lots of random veggies that are in the fridge and use things up!  Also, it is super easy, and tastes great.

Here is the basic recipe, but feel free to add and substitute veggies as you'd like.

1 tsp olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic
2 small potatoes, peeled and chopped
4 red bell peppers, roasted
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
1 can fat free reduced sodium chicken broth (any kind of vegetable stock, if vegetarian or vegan)
1 1/2 cups water
1 tsp salt
olive oil cooking spray (if roasting peppers in the oven)

First, begin roasting the red peppers.  The easiest ways to do this are the grill or the oven.   To roast in the oven, spray peppers with cooking spray and place them on a broiler pan or baking sheet.  Broil until skin turns mostly black on the top, and then turn over to roast the other side.  When finished, place peppers in a bowl and cover with lid or plastic wrap to collect steam.  Let sit for approximately ten minutes, then peel off skin and cut peppers into smaller pieces.

While the peppers are collecting steam in the bowl, heat olive oil in a large pot on medium heat.  Add garlic, carrots and onion, and saute for about 5 minutes (or until translucent).  Next, add broth, water, potatoes, and peppers.  Turn heat up to high and bring to a boil.  Then, decrease the heat to medium-low, cover and let simmer until potatoes are tender.   Stir occasionally.

Once potatoes are tender, use a food processor, blender, or hand blender to puree soup until smooth.  Add salt, pepper, or other herbs and spices to taste!

Chocolate Orange Cake

Over the weekend, I was looking for something to make to take to a small party, and I really wanted something sweet.  I knew I was taking a friend of mine to the party with me, and she is a vegan.  This gave me motivation to find a great recipe for something healthy and sweet that she could also enjoy.  Fat Free Vegan Kitchen came to the rescue, with Chocolate Orange Cake.  


Oh my.  This is one of the best cakes (and especially fat free cakes!) that I've had in a long time.  I didn't take any pictures, as the presentation wasn't amazing, but it still tasted wonderful.  I did make a few substitutions in the recipe.  I didn't have soy yogurt on hand, as I assume many don't, so I substituted 1/4 cup canola oil and 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce.  Yes, the oil does add a little fat, but not much.  You can substitute all 3/4 cup for applesauce if you'd like!  The cake is meant to be prepared in a Bundt pan, but I made it in a regular 9 x 13 cake pan, and it worked wonderfully.  Just be sure to watch the cooking time in this case as it may not be exact!


Chocolate-Orange Cake

1 1/2 cups unbleached flour
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cocoa
1 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup soy yogurt
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 cup fresh orange juice
2 tablespoons grated orange peel

Chocolate Icing:
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon cocoa
2 teaspoons orange juice
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract (or 1/8 tsp. if double strength)
--plus extra orange juice as needed

Orange Icing:
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon orange juice
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract (or 1/8 tsp. if double strength)
--plus extra orange juice as needed

Spray a Bundt cake pan with non-stick spray and dust it lightly with unsweetened cocoa. Preheat oven to 350F.

Combine the flours, sugar, baking soda, salt, cocoa, and cinnamon in a large mixing bowl. Add the yogurt, vanilla, balsamic vinegar, water, and orange juice. Beat by hand or with a mixer on low speed just until well-combined, about 1-2 minutes. Stir in the grated orange peel, and pour into the prepared pan.

Bake for about 30-40 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes and then invert it onto a serving platter and cool completely.

When the cake is cool, make the icings. For each icing, mix the ingredients in separate small bowls. One half teaspoon at a time, stir in enough extra orange juice to make a drizzling consistency. Drizzle the chocolate icing over the cake, wait a few minutes for it to set, and then drizzle the orange icing.



16 servings
WW Pts:  3 per serving (when made with 1/4 cup oil and 1/2 cup applesauce - adjust for substitutions)

I'm experimenting today...

I have been following the Weight Watchers weight loss program since January of 2009, and have lost over 50 lbs in the past year.  A major part of my success has been learning to cook for myself in the healthiest and best way possible.  I used to constantly eat out, eat excessive frozen/processed foods, and eat a lot of carbs and very little fruits and vegetables.  I'm learning to enjoy making low fat healthy foods, and they still taste great!

Lately,  I often find myself saying to my mom, roommate, friends, that "I'm experimenting" in the kitchen.  Sometimes I'm pulling random ingredients out of the fridge and cupboard.  Other times I've found a recipe that I'm evolving into something better, faster to make, healthier, you name it.

Through all of this, I have had many successes and failures, but I am slowly learning to cook.  I am constantly sending recipes to friends and family and recommending new things,  so recently I decided that a blog may be the best way to bring it all together in one place.  Hope you enjoy it!